Still healing

Still Healing

So sore,

Even after years,

It is still healing...

Bewildered and astray,

Doesn't know what it's feeling!

Wounded yet fluttering, 

Why does it still think of fleeing?

Afraid the little bird,

From the miseries, 

Is still grieving!

Afraid the little bird,

Is not just a bird.

But just as delicate,

And with cries unheard.

It is weak but it strives,

It also makes me feel,

And keeps me alive.

Albeit, it's time to let it heal,

Before I ever again let it feel.

Hoping the little bird,

Will eventually regain its zeal.

Flight

Flight

I guess I fell

But I really can't tell

cotton or concrete

Either way, I am not well

My dare is truth,

And my truth is sweet

But still makes me sour

in my throat.

So much to gain

Equally much to lose

When life battles loneliness

for me it's always pain

It's precious: I'm scared

But also confident.

They've escaped the cocoons

And I'm not hungry.

They're not feared, 

Blooming into something new.

But I am, my life is –

After all not so easy. 

I don't know what to do

Or say.

I can cry maybe in my own failure

And dismay.

Racing with myself

Racing with myself

I'm racing with myself,

But I'm not in a hurry.

Part of me is focused,

Only on the life's worries.

Rest of me wanders

Like rovers on Mars,

Racing at the speed of 120

All while sitting idle for hours.

Shaky limbs, spinning vision,

Wobbly steps, throbbing head

A wretched sense of world, 

Surrendering to crazy delusions.

Restless and tired,

Bothered by why

I'm so differently wired?

All of the world's problems,

They seem on my shoulders, 

Be it so tiny like rocks, 

Or as big as boulders.

I feel trapped in the mind

by the self I am racing with,

Why am I so blind

To these schemes I can't unwind?

I feel tired and out of control 

Powerless and uninspired

Funneling down this deep sinkhole.

Nothing helps, I tried –

so arduous it is to shift my thoughts!

I tend to keep fighting them 

But isn't that all they seek?

To see me like this;

Racing to my last breath, 

sick and exhausted?

I am in Curnow's shoes now,

Lack of desire, lack of will,

An unmanageable distraction,

But channeling creativity still.

To all who feel like pawns,

in the games of their brains,

Know this –

You'll soon be unchained.

The Spell

The Spell

Feels like a Dream,

Sweet like an Apple,

Forbidden but it Gleams,

Ravishing, irresistible,

The urge to nibble.

Breathtaking – so fragrant,

Ambrosial its every morsel,

Lasting like its petrichor

Gentle but potent, so strong

Is the spell cast on me?!

Sunken deep in its warmth,

Cozy like the feeling of fall;

Astray my senses; risqué intentions,

Not so cold, I'd still need a shawl.

Unfair

Unfair

It pains to be the victim...

of things not under your control;

things you're not responsible for.

It hurts...

when you're kind & caring,

but misjudged for selfishness.

It stings...

when people you care for,

will no longer reciprocate

after knowing you and about you.

It kills me,

to be myself and selfless...

To know that they'll not let go,

not understand, and will forget

how they felt,

only after barely scratching the surface.

It feels unfair...

So unfair!

That my arms were wide open,

For them and all they are...

But theirs closed,

for the little bit of me I shared.

Clueluess

Clueluess

Chez one's, no Longer a Guest.

Soon to be one at other's?

Lurking on the Road, scared,

However, so Bewildered at the best!

At the gates...

Of the Strongest Force,

Entrance or Exit,

Again bewildered where I Fit.

"Get well soon,

It'll pass... and,

Alright, and fine, and okay..."

Ibid.

I have no clue!

It's hazy.

It's hazy.

Cloudy, dark, blue and black

The night makes the city a shack

Hazed so thick the moon is hidden

What's the use if the stars are forbidden

Showers and rumbles

And the snow on the side crumbles

quite, empty and dead

the city was watered, still unfed

The eyes and brain are conspirators big time,

They show and see of their own will.

But it is one that is smart and fine,

that reads between the lines

to realize it's the city what I feel. 

Lifelessly-green and colourfully-dull

Like an abandoned paradise castle

burnt and withered

It makes no sense, even in this unjust world.