Racing with myself

Racing with myself

I'm racing with myself,

But I'm not in a hurry.

Part of me is focused,

Only on the life's worries.

Rest of me wanders

Like rovers on Mars,

Racing at the speed of 120

All while sitting idle for hours.

Shaky limbs, spinning vision,

Wobbly steps, throbbing head

A wretched sense of world, 

Surrendering to crazy delusions.

Restless and tired,

Bothered by why

I'm so differently wired?

All of the world's problems,

They seem on my shoulders, 

Be it so tiny like rocks, 

Or as big as boulders.

I feel trapped in the mind

by the self I am racing with,

Why am I so blind

To these schemes I can't unwind?

I feel tired and out of control 

Powerless and uninspired

Funneling down this deep sinkhole.

Nothing helps, I tried –

so arduous it is to shift my thoughts!

I tend to keep fighting them 

But isn't that all they seek?

To see me like this;

Racing to my last breath, 

sick and exhausted?

I am in Curnow's shoes now,

Lack of desire, lack of will,

An unmanageable distraction,

But channeling creativity still.

To all who feel like pawns,

in the games of their brains,

Know this –

You'll soon be unchained.